


Problems

by weaselbee23



Series: Draco's shitty, but also not so shitty life [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Draco Malfoy, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Good Severus Snape, Hospitalization, Self-Harm, Severus Snape Has a Heart, Snape cares, Suicide Attempt, Therapy, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 15:22:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17327504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weaselbee23/pseuds/weaselbee23
Summary: Draco attempts suicide, and Snape tries to get him a little help.





	Problems

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so glad you all like this series! If you can, please leave feedback, it makes me want to write more!

One day after Draco had missed his potions class, Severus Snape walked up to the boy’s dorm. He was concerned. While some days when Draco would get upset and skip some classes, the last time Severus found Draco the boy had a dagger to his own throat. He could not bring himself to let that happen again. 

No one seemed to be in the Slytherin common rooms, everyone in their classes. As Severus made his way up the staircase, he felt the dread build in his chest as to what he would find. Would Draco be fine, sitting at his desk and doing homework or sleeping? Or would he be reaching his lowest point and desperately searching for a way out? His heart began to beat faster as he approached the door. 

Once he gathered himself enough to open the door, he nearly fell to his knees in horror. His heart shattered just the way it did when he discovered what Lucius was doing to the boy. As he not so steadily approached Draco’s bed, he took in the sight.

Draco was sprawled out on his bed, unconscious. His wrists were slit open, blood covering his arms and the sheets. Empty potion bottles were scattered on the bed around him, and the boy’s head was turned to the side, vomit on the sheets in front of his mouth. Draco was only in his binder and dress pants, shoes and shirt discarded. Long slashes went all of the way up his arms and covered his stomach, blood staining the skin there as well.

Severus rushed over and gathered the boy in his arms and apparated to the hospital wing. He set Draco down on a bed and retrieved Madame Pomfrey. While he could heal most of Draco’s wounds, there wasn’t much he could do about the potions overdose. He sat in the chair at Draco’s bedside as he watched Madame Pomfrey get to work on healing the boy. Soon, as he watched on, he found himself lost in thought. Why did Draco do this? Could he have stopped it? What if Draco doesn’t make it? These questions raced through his head along with flashes of the image of Draco on the bed, near death. 

He cared deeply for Draco. He was his godfather, after all. He recalled the anger he felt the day he discovered the abuse he was suffering at the hands of his father. He recalled the joy in Draco’s eyes when he found out he was leaving the manor. He recalled Draco falling asleep in his bed, understanding that he was safe at last. 

And then it hit him. He knew exactly why Draco did this. He was suffering the effects of his trauma. And it was sending him into a depression. He was afraid of his father. He was afraid of what he had suffered. 

Severus felt himself seething with anger. He swore to himself then and there that he would show Lucius what pain felt like.

\---

Severus had never been this angry before. He battled with his self control, trying to gather himself. He sat at Draco’s bedside, listening to the boy talk about his brush with death.

“I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. And I haven’t been taking my medication.” Draco admitted, looking down at his lap. He had been in the hospital wing for three days now, and was not to be released until he showed signs of improvement. 

“Five years, Severus. It took five years to get out of there.” Draco said, voice tight with emotion.

“I don’t understand why it took so long, Draco. But you were taken away from there. You were safe. And you still are.” Severus explained, hoping to reassure the boy.

Draco sighed. “It’s not that simple, Severus. Because of him nowhere feels safe. Nowhere but your house.”

“I want you to be seen by Professor Lupin. He also specializes in mental health.” Severus stated, it being clear in his voice that Draco had no other choice.

Draco gave him a nod before lying back down on the bed, closing his eyes as Severus brushed his bangs out of his face.

And Draco fell asleep, feeling safe with Severus by his side.

\---

Draco sat on his hospital bed, Professor Lupin sitting at the end of his bed. They were silent at first before Lupin spoke.

“Draco, how old were you when your father began hurting you?” Lupin asked, voice careful.

“Jumping straight into the daddy issues, huh?” Draco paused for a moment. “I was five.”

“And how old were you when it stopped?” Lupin questioned.

“I was ten.” Draco gave short answers, not wanting to talk.

“What is going on that made you want to commit suicide?” Lupin asked. He almost sounded like he cared. 

“Everything.” Another short answer.

“Elaborate.” Lupin insisted, not letting Draco get out of the conversation.

“The shit with my father. Being trans. Having confusing feelings.”

“How are they confusing?” Lupin couldn’t help but feel curious.

“I hate Potter. But at the same time I believe I...fancy him.” Draco admitted. He had always felt something for Potter, but he had recently started to develop stronger feelings.

“That can be rather confusing. Maybe you should focus less on the unnecessary hatred and focus more on your positive feelings towards him.” He attempted to reassure the boy.

“I guess.” Draco was not very fond of conversations like this, especially with therapists or any sort of mental health professional.

“Would you like to talk about your trauma with your father?” Lupin asked. He seemed to be insistent about learning about the boy and his issues.

“Really going for the daddy issues. There’s not much to talk about. He abused me for five years, and after all of that time, Severus came and saved me.” He gave the short answer, hoping Lupin would leave it alone

“What was it like when Professor Snape rescued you?” Lupin wanted to get a little background knowledge on Draco. Though Severus had given him a good bit, he wanted to hear it from Draco himself.

“He was careful with me for the first year until I began to adjust and go with how things went with him. He was still careful after that, just acted less cautious. He tried putting me in therapy first, and after a while I refused to go to the sessions. Even when he would try to pick me up and hold me until we got there, I would hold onto the bed frame so he wouldn’t be able to pick me up. I would hold on like my life depended on him. Then one day when I threatened to run away if he didn’t take me, he realized therapy was doing more damage than repair. So he stopped making me go. I just had to promise to go to him if I started wanting to kill myself. Even if I just wanted to hurt myself.” While he didn’t know how comfortable he was sharing this information, he felt a weight being lifted off of him as he talked about one of the hard times he had.

“Why didn’t you go to him last week?” Lupin was curious about this. If Draco had made a promise, why would he break it now?

“Because I wanted to die.” Draco answered simply. 

“Do you still want to?” Lupin asked, voice laced with concern.

“Hardly the point.” Draco tried to brush the question off and move on. He wasn’t exactly close with Lupin, and he didn’t even want Severus to know in the first place, why would he want Lupin to know?

“Answer the question, Draco.” Lupin urged. He wanted to help Draco in any way that he could.

“Yes.” Draco admitted, looking down at his lap. He felt weak. He felt powerless. He felt out of control.

“I have been teaching you for nearly a year now. I have seen you go through many ups and downs and many emotions. As a professional, I can not formally diagnose you until you are nineteen, but I believe you are bipolar.” His voice was cautious. He didn’t know for sure if Draco was ready to hear this, but he knew that he had to find out sooner or later.

Draco stopped talking. He looked shocked. He had heard of Bipolar Disorder before, but he never expected to have it himself. As far as he knew, there wasn’t much mental illness in his family. He thought for a moment on how he should go about this. He decided to get more knowledge on the subject.

“Explain it to me.” He more so insisted than requested.

And so Lupin gave him every bit of information about the disorder that he knew. He did his best to help Draco understand it, and he let a relieved smile cross his face when Draco gave a nod after he finished explaining.

“Thank you. That makes a lot more sense.” Draco was glad to have an understanding of the diagnosis. He realized as Lupin explained the symptoms, that it made perfect sense. 

“Draco, we need to work to get you to where you can function and live. You deserve that. You don’t deserve to continue being tortured by your father.” Lupin did his best to convey how imperative it was that Draco needed to cope with what happened to him. In order to function, he needed to heal. 

Draco nodded. “Okay, where do we start?”


End file.
